Pass Over the Guilt… April 16, 2011

Every Jewish holiday is focused on eating, guilt and deprivation of some kind, and the upcoming holiday ofPassover is no different. It is meant as a time to forego all ‘leavened’ foods for 8 days which includes;  cereals,breads, grains, legumes, pasta, and anything that is made with yeast. Basically all the delicous carbs you knowand love will soon be replaced by the standard holiday staple- Matzah essentially a cardboard like cracker. It iseaten to symobolize the rushed Jewish exodus from Egypt that was done in such haste that there was no timefor the bread to rise.  Of course, even in a rush to leave the country and with the imminent risk of being killed-my Jewish ancestors had food on their minds.For me, somehow knowing that for 8 days these foods will not be allowed tempts me to go on a bakery storetour of the neighborhood- devouring all the “forbidden” foods from Cheskies to Fairmount bagels before theholiday begins. Though the bakery tour may have sounded like a fantastic idea ten years ago, I now knowbetter. I became a Holistic Food Coach for a reason; to help my clients make peace with food and their bodieswithout guilt, deprivation or calorie counting.  Essentially, I help “liberate” them from the dieting mentality thatsaturates our society with body hatred, shame and a desire to try every diet solution out there-it woudn’t evenshock me if someone invented a Matza diet. In a way, I am like the Moses of the Passover story, leading hispeople from oppression to freedom, from rigid food rules to liberation. Or something like that. 

What happens when you have food rules?

Think of telling a teenager what NOT to do, and expect that they will try everything to break the rules.Once you have set up a food rule, whether it is to stop eating carbs or to never eat past 7pm, you areunknowingly creating a struggle with your mind and body because the moment you banish a food it ironicallybuilds up the craving for it even more as the deprivation deepens. The thought of even going on a restrictedeating plan can create a sense of panic, causing you to eat every food you won’t be allowed on the diet. Thisoften causes frantic gorging followed by feelings of guilt and shame.Of course, guilt is nothing new in Judaism. Think of a food rule (that is almost universal to Jewish mothers) andyou will find guilt; “Finish everything off your plate!”, “thou shalt not waste food,” “Do you hate my cooking thatmuch?”, “Your grandparents were Holocaust survivors, do you think they would be picky?”

Release your inner Pharaoh

Are any of you stuck in the “food rule dual” where you have food rules that set you up for failure each time yousuccumb to the forbidden food? Do you feel like you are being “bad” if you give in to food you shouldn’t have,and good if you follow the rules? Do you think you are you ready for relating to food in a new way, that doesnot keep putting your body and mind in conflict, so you can have a balanced relationship with food and yourbody for good?The intentional eating approach is a process based on exploring your behaviors instead of criticising yourselffor them. Unlike a diet, it’s not linear based, but a journey of ups and downs built on getting rid of years of bodyshame, oppression and guilt. It is about learning how to “let (my people) LET go”  of the voice of “Jewish guilt”that tells you your late night craving for ice cream is “bad”, and if you “cave” you will need to punish yourself later.Instead, start to nurture the compassionate voice of the “observer” who is neither a judge nor a critic,but one who notices and makes neutral observations of your food behaviour.By beginning to become aware of your thoughts and actions, you can start gradually changing them. Instead offeeling guilty for the ice cream craving, the observer gets curious and makes observations like, “Isn’t thatinteresting- I want ice cream even though I am full, I wonder what I am feeding if I am not hungry? Maybe Iam feeling lonely, I can always call up my friends and see what they are up to.”When you give up the food rules, you free yourself from a harsh ruler, the hope that some outside expert isgoing to command you how, when and what to eat. It is an empowering process when you can connect to whatyour body feels like eating and learn to respect its signals for hunger and fullness, Who else can be the bestexpert of your body?  After practicing and teaching an intentional and mindful eating approach, I feel asliberated as my ancestors coming out of Egypt. No more food rules! No more guilt or deprivation.I have been delivered.

Here are a few Intentional Eating Suggestions to start you off this Passover.

Suggestions for Passover Eating:

1.       Start small: assess how hungry you are before eating, and fill your plate accordingly.

2.       Next, decide how you want to feel when you are finished. When you eat with the intention of feeling better and more energized, than when you started, you are less likely to overeat.

3.       Know that there is always more food if you want it. You can always have leftovers tomorrow. You don’t have to finish your plate if you are full.

4.       Chose food that you like, and that will nourish you. Our society is so obsessed with “eating right” we sometimes eat things we don’t even like. Besides, deprivation and guilt cause more overeating. Fill your plate with only your TOP favourite dishes, if you don’t love the way something looks or tastes, skip it! You should be excited to eat everything, don’t just eat it because it’s there.

5. *Bonus tip about Matza: You don’t need to overdo it on the Matza- there are plenty of other foods you can eat, not every meal needs to contain a matza like substance. Try quinoa, a versatile grain that is just as good in breakfast ‘porridge’, as in a stuffing or salad.

Passover Dessert:

Chipotle Chocolate “Donut Holes”

1/2 cup raw almonds

1/4 cup sesame seeds
1/2 cup raw cashews or sunflower seeds
5 dehydrated pineapples or apricots chopped

1 cup Medjool dates, pitted
seeds from 1 vanilla bean
1/4 cup shredded coconut
1 tsp cocoa powder

1 tbs chipotle pepper

In a food processor, chop nuts and seeds until fine. Slowly add rest of ingredients, process until it becomes a dough is mixed well. Try and adjust flavors accordingly.

If you want spicier add more chipotle or cayenne pepper. If you want it sweeter add more dates, crunchier, add more seeds and nuts. Roll into balls with your hands and then roll into shredded coconut. Refrigerate and enjoy!

New Year, New You: Turn Resolutions into Revolutionary Results January 13, 2011

Resolutions or Revolutions?

Remember the resolutions you made this year? You swore not to have another cookie and have more self control but – oops!  – you slipped after coming home from a bad day at work. You could have sworn those Oreos were calling out your name until you gave in. You also resolved to be more disciplined this year by going to the gym no less than five days a week, but two weeks later told yourself you have no discipline and gave up the gym altogether.

Okay people, it’s clearly time for us to change the way we think about transformation and weight-loss. Maybe it’s time for us to have revolutions instead of quick-fix resolutions that seem to fade before February. A revolution means we are ready for a sweeping change to take over our lives. The key here is for these changes to happen gradually by making small step-by-step adjustments to our habits over time.

My sister recently returned from a week-long silent meditation retreat. She shared with me that a reason she felt the experience was successful and why she enjoyed it more than she had anticipated was because there were no rules. Imagine that! Although the retreat leaders encouraged her to wake up at 5:45 am for meditation she could have just as easily slept in until breakfast. If she had she been told firmly that she had to follow a schedule and wake up at 5:45 am, she probably would have rebelled by sleeping in (I know my sister!). Something about the gentle approach of being given a choice led her to do what was in her best interest and she woke up early every day of the retreat. Because no one was forcing her to do anything, she was able to push herself even harder than she would have. The desire and motivation came from within.

I’m a food coach not a social scientist, but I have a feeling that there is a relationship between a lack of rules and long term weight loss success. Although in everyday life we despise rules, believe me when I tell you that people actually like having food rules. They like to be told by experts from Dr. Oz to Dr. Atkins what they can and cannot eat, or when and how much. In fact, even when they do break a diet by “rebelling” against the rules they don’t blame it on the diet or the expert, they blame themselves. They think they should have been more disciplined or had more self control. It doesn’t even occur to most people the dieting itself is what’s flawed. When we have rules and restrictions, self sabotage and rebellion are just waiting around the corner for us.

Think about what you resolved to change this year. Did you say, “I won’t touch dessert for a whole year” or “No more fried foods for me?” If so, think about how sustainable that thought process was for you in the long run. Rather than refusing dessert entirely for the rest of your life, why not make a revolutionary step and learn how to make healthier desserts with natural sweeteners? Or wouldn’t it be more powerful if you could figure out why you crave sweets in the first place? Is it because you’ve been eating too many salty foods, or because you’re trying to deal with stress through comfort foods?

Instead of “cheating” on your diet by devouring a pint of Haagen Dazs ice cream when no one is looking, I would like you to give yourself permission to eat dessert. Don’t just eat dessert in a corner, or the sugar free, fat free variety (because you won’t actually be satisfied, and will end up wanting a “real” dessert anyway). I’m reminded of the scene with Meg Ryan in When Harry Met Sally.

First she orders the apple pie a la mode but requests only real whip cream: “If it’s out of a can, then nothing”Then she has a fake orgasm at the diner and a nearby patron, says, “I’ll have what she’s having.”

Why not learn how to savour your dessert by sitting down with a slice of chocolate cake (which I love making with black beans in the batter!) and a glass of milk (or soy/nut milk) and enjoy it slowly by savouring each bite like you were a little kid again enjoying your birthday cake.

By learning how to eat mindfully and slowly, you will learn how to savour your food and actually enjoy it more! Think of it as the difference between eating in hiding or being “out and proud.” Rather than feeling out of control you will start feeling liberated without the rigid rules that set you up for failure.

Here are 5 easy steps to becoming a mindful eater:

1.     Take 5-10 deep breaths before sitting down to a meal. Why? Oxygen and breath will help you assimilate and digest your food better, and you will be in a more relaxed state to enjoy your meal.

2.     Notice the colors, textures and scents of your food before eating it as if your plate is a piece of art. Feel free to make art with your food so that it is appetizing and appealing to you. Think about how enjoyable eating 12 pieces of sushi can be when you concentrate on the colors or eat with chopsticks.

3.     Start with a smaller amount than you would normally take on your plate and leave the actual serving dish in the kitchen rather than bringing it to the table. This way you are less likely to take seconds when you are not hungry. Before you take more, stand up and walk around, take a deep breath and see how full your body feels. After a meal, you should feel lighter and more energized rather than feeling more lethargic.

4.     Use chopsticks: Forsaking your fork will force you focus on what you are eating, and you will no longer be shovelling food into your mouth as we tend to do when using cutlery. When you go back to using a fork, make sure to put it down between bites; it will help you slow down.

5.     For additional support in how to balance your relationship with food, I invite you to book a Clear Cravings Now breakthrough session with me. Email tastylife@gmail.com to take advantage of my 20% discount offer valid until Feb 28th, 2011.